Shirai's First TPN Manuscript: The Way We Survive in This World
The first draft for TPN brought to Jump's editorial department was completely hand-drawn by Shirai. Unlike the usual submissions, Shirai drew an entire arc (15 chapters, 300 pages in total). The concept was inspired by Yu Yu Hakusho and some old Japanese/Western children's stories he read as a child. The title of the work was "The Way We Survive in This World".
Character Drafts
- Protagonists: Emma, Norman, Ray.
- Antagonists: Isabella and Krone.
- Allies: Mujika and Sonju.
- Prominent younger children: Conny, Phil, Don and Gilda etc.
- Characters to be revealed in the future: "Boss" Norman, Vincent, Zazie, Cislo, Barbara, Ayshe.
- Demons.
Shirai's initial character setting description from TPN exhibition display
[Descriptions mostly taken from @yakishioyou's exhibition reports. Scroll to the bottom of the page for references]
Emma: A neutral girl without the feeling of gender. Respects Norman and Ray who can do it all. Harbors a similar admiration for Isabella, as well.
Norman: Slender and left-handed. If compared to an animal: a white horse. Not a prince but a "partner" for Emma - the knight, to support her to move freely.
Ray: Black hair. To him, Emma and Norman are special ones who are fun to be with. Might have some kind of admiration and envy for these two straightforward people.
Happy Life in the House
-Morning preparation: Emma is late for breakfast. Ray teases her for barely making it in time (implying this wasn't the first time she was late). Emma glares at Ray and Norman chuckles from the other side of the table. Emma turns at Norman with a shocked expression.
(Emma's speaking style in the draft is a little less polite, ie. saying "my bad (悪い)" instead of "sorry (ごめん)" to Gilda)
-The children attend their daily test. Norman, Ray, and Emma earn a perfect score as usual. Everyone plays tag during recess.
Discovering the Truth
-Conny's corpse scene is more gruesome and bloody with no Gupna or jarred preservation.
-The demons have a simpler and traditional design. They continue a conversation similar to the finalized version's exchanges.
-Chapter 3 is different from the serialized version. The information revealed in the serialized version's chapter 3 is in the draft's chapter 6. There's no panel of Isabella catching Emma in the hallway remembering Conny.
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| Emma and Norman keeping an eye on Isabella. "But.. Should we give up? Giving up.. Don't even joke! The rope comes first. The escape is in two months" |
-Chapter 4 contents are absent in the draft. There's no story development of escaping with everyone, the three main characters intend to escape by themselves.
Krone's Appearance
-The story of playing tag against Krone is absent.
Middle Story
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| (Panels from Shirai's serialization storyboard) |
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| Discarded scene from the serialization storyboard |
-Ray is directly revealed as the spy. Ray was the one who set the escape in motion by revealing the truth to Emma and Norman. Similar to the finalized version, Ray received a camera, possibly to build a tracker-deactivating machine.
-William Minerva's concept is absent.
-The story development is different because the plan to escape with everyone doesn't exist in the draft.
-Krone doesn't form an alliance with the children. She remains alive till the end of the arc.
Confrontation Against Krone, Norman's Shipment
-Krone confronts Emma and Norman in the forest and inquires them about the location of a substance (the tracker deactivator?). When Norman refuses to reveal anything, she grabs his throat and asks again.
-Emma kicks Krone and warns her to stay away from Norman. During their struggle, Krone breaks Emma's leg to prevent their escape.
-She continues interrogating Norman, but Isabella intervenes and commands her to move away immediately.
-Norman's shipment is announced. The events surrounding his shipment are shorter and less emotional, there's no cup-phone scene. Norman leaves some instructions to Emma. No clear hint indicated his survival.
-The shipment costume is slightly different, the shirt has ribbons. Norman is seen with a tape on his cheek; how he received a bruise is unknown.
Ray's Death and Emma's Escape
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-Ray hands over a single photo of Norman and Emma that he took with the camera. The photo's composition is different from the photo he took in the serialized version (here, the photo was taken without Emma and Norman noticing)
-Ray gives a box of matches to Emma, (supposedly) sets a fire successfully, and kills himself. (Unfortunately, not much is known about this part of the story.)
-Ray's fetal memory is still a part of this plot, but the term 'infantile amnesia' wasn't used.
-Isabella and Leslie's story is present in the draft. Leslie was an unattractive boy but Isabella still loved him. Ray's relationship with Isabella is revealed somewhere around the end of the arc.
-Emma doesn't set a time limit for her return to save her siblings, but she decides to return someday.
Emma's Lone Escape
-Emma reaches the cliff. The alarm sets off and the demon guards rush out to capture the escapee. To estimate the cliff's height, Emma drops a lit-up match that she received from Ray and comments that it's high.
-She ties a rope and climbs down to the scaffolding zone at the midpoint. She then jumps down after inwardly declaring her freedom.
-A pursuer demon looks up at the cliff and is astonished by Emma's mental strength. Assuming she died after falling, the pursuer searches for Emma's body at the bottom of the cliff. He notices some burn marks on the ground (from the dropped match?)
-The scene changes to 6 hours prior to the demons' search for Emma. Emma hid near the fence and recalled Norman's information that the cliff was taller than a height to jump down from, and Ray's speculation about the cliff being less guarded because they think a case of escape is improbable. Norman told her that the security should be concentrated around the "birth area" (possibly meant the HQ connected by the bridge).
-Sometime after the escape, Emma collapses due to her injury. Her unconscious body is rescued by Sonju and Mujika.
Sonju and Mujika
-Emma discovers Mujika and Sonju after waking up. Emma and the demons exchange their names. Emma is colder and more serious compared to the finalized version. Emma stays with the two for a shorter time period.
-At some point, Emma shows the photo Ray took to Mujika.
-Sonju asks Emma's thoughts after her escape experience, she replies "I still want to live. I've sworn (to Norman and Ray) that I wouldn't waste it (her life), so I'll definitely survive."
-Sonju informs Emma that there may be a surviving human settlement and suggests heading towards the West where there's no demon residence.
-After Emma leaves, Mujika and Sonju converse between themselves. Sonju reveals why he let Emma live.
-Sonju's speech explains the farming system. Although it takes a form of agriculture 'from the past lessons', humans are essentially a species that increases if left alone.
-On the final page of the draft, Emma, wearing a cloak covering her head, continues a monologue while she takes out the photo of Norman and herself and looks at it: "That's why I'm not pessimistic. It's natural that there'd be no way. It's okay."
She places the photo inside her pocket, grabs her cloak, and takes a step. "First, to the West!"
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| Final few pages of the prototype displayed at the TPN exhibition. The bottom page shows the last few panels where Emma heads towards the West. |
Plans for the Future Story Development
The post-escape concept includes Emma's survival in the harsh outside world, training, making new friends and allies, reunion-conflict and reconciliation with Norman, return to Grace Field to free their siblings. Ray became a mentor in her heart. Demon god's involvement is unknown. Goldy Pond isn't a part of this plan.
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| Shirai's draft character concepts |
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| Posuka's draft designs for the Lambda squad |
-Emma's rigorous journey takes her to a human settlement populated with older escapees. She has to interact with different sorts of people and make allies.
-Emma sneaking inside a demon village is one of Shirai's original concepts. The survival-themed contents were supposed to be similar to the TV series Plant Earth.
-After few years, she encounters a group of extremist individuals who have been blowing up farms and killing demons, approaching from the West. Their leader was kept inside a mass production farm as an inedible, pet-like existence before he broke out and formed the liberation army.
-The leader, seemingly a new character, is immediately recognized by Emma as Norman.
-Their reunion follows a moral conflict. Norman attempts to kill Mujika and Sonju. Mujika is captured by some of Norman's men but Sonju rescues her.
-Following unknown events, Norman eventually has a breakdown and asks Emma to help him.
-Ayshe in the prototype concept is an older woman whose father was killed by Norman's men, for which she swore to take revenge. Ayshe and Norman's story is still unexplained, but at some point during the plot making, Shirai had a plan to kill her off (unknown if it was already a part of his plan at the prototype stage.)
-Emma's speech "if it's Sonju and Mujika, I think it's okay if you eat me" is a part of Shirai's old concept.
-To free some of their captured allies and save the younger siblings, Emma and her friends return to Grace Field. Krone is the new Mom and Gilda is a Sister. Isabella's whereabouts are unknown. Shirai wanted the escape to be similar to the Western series "Prison Break."
-Geelan's group, an army of 'bandits' (not ex-royalties) helps their infiltration for their own benefit: to steal from the farm.
-Shirai's initial concept sets a simpler goal: saving Emma's family. Whether it came from more sacrifices or not is unknown.
-Emma asking the enemy to "live together" is one of Shirai's pre-serialization ideas.
-Sugita says Shirai wanted to add a plot thread where Emma and others search for their parents (it may or may not be a part of Shirai's prototype concept).
-Shirai thinks the similarities between prototype TPN and finalized TPN is only 30-40%, but he could include most of what he wanted to write.
Sources/References:
-TPN Fanbook
-TPN Exhibition booklet: Tracks to the Neverland
-TPN Artbook (scan credits: @eerippo)
BIG THANKS TO @14thNeah FOR HELPING IN TRANSLATION!
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